Archive for April, 2013

Singapore mustn’t become an ‘angry and bitter’ society

April 17, 2013

I, too, agree that Singaporeans must learn to be thankful for what we have.Most of us are blessed with shelter over our heads, good food on the table, a job and our children can go to school.
I’m a stay-at-home mum and I’m thankful that I can be home to take care of my two boys when my husband is working hard at his job.
I’m thankful that we can put food on the table, the children can study and we can enjoy the simple joys of life. Activities like going to the park, cycling or playing at the playground doesn’t cost us.

Recently, our family was privileged to go for a holiday in Sapporo, Hokkaido. We noticed that the Japanese are very polite and patient. They speak with smiles on their faces and the salesperson standing in Daimaru greeted everyone happily who passed them by despite having stood the whole day. We were very impressed. Nobody rushed at the buffet and they only took what they wanted to eat and could finish. The restrooms were clean and the places were not dirty. We were very impressed.

Two days ago, I visited a terminally ill church member at Dover Park hospice. After I left, I’m so thankful for the foreign nurses attending to the patients. Without them, who would do such jobs and with love and patience at that. Singaporeans are too spoilt.

I think we must learn to be thankful for our country. We must also be more gracious to foreign talents if they are really sincere in working and contributing to our economy.

Singapore should be a kind, gracious and loving country. Not complaining, angry and bitter. Then it will be a better place to live in. It’s the people that make Singapore.

Source Yahoo

Having kids is not about incentives, but commitment

April 17, 2013

When the government first announced the enhanced marriage and parenthood package, a couple of friends immediately messaged me and asked if I was considering having a third child. After all, I now get more money, they said. But my answer was a firm “no”. I am stopping at 2 and 2 is more than enough in Singapore.

My friends have got it all wrong. From the very beginning, it’s not money that’s the root of the problem. Yes, I agree that the standard of living in Singapore is extremely high but with the little money that the government is giving, it doesn’t help much anyway. What difference does it make? Practically none.

Having a kid is not about money. I am sure all parents are clear about their financial condition even before they consider having a kid.

Do they have enough savings to start off a family, buy the basic necessities such as a baby cot, clothes and can they afford monthly expenses such as milk powder and diapers. No parent will say “let have a kid first and then we wait and use the cash from the government for the kid”.

So it’s not about money. Then what is it all about? Why are people not giving birth?

I look around my friends, my colleagues and I look at myself… it’s the commitment, the responsibility that scares people off. I have a colleague who have been married for 10 years and he and his wife refuse to have a kid.

They get to go on romantic holidays as and when they want, they go golfing in Malaysia and Indonesia every weekend, go drinking and karaoke after work, enjoying life to the fullest while me, I have to rush back home everyday after work, gulp down my dinner and have a quick shower because my baby girl, after not seeing me for the entire day, is clinging on to me like a koala bear and cries once I leave her sight.

Over the weekend, I continue to hear the shouts and cries of the kids and suffer from the perpetual lack of sleep and go to work everyday like a walking zombie.

There are good, happy times with my kids too, times when they make me smile and laugh and think I am most lucky to have them in my life but there are people out there that rather enjoy life than to subject themselves to such “torment”.

Not to mention, going from a relationship to two happily married to having kids, your relationship with your husband/wife will never be the same ever again. We do see couples divorcing because they can’t work out the differences after having kids, so some couples choose to be happily married ever after without having kids rather than to have to argue over and scream and run after kids. You can say they are selfish but if they can’t commit to such a huge responsibility, why force them to?

As a working mother, I constantly question myself and feel extremely guilty on why I have kids when I can’t take care of them myself (even though my mother-in-law is taking good care of them) just because I have to work. And it’s tough for my mother-in-law taking care of both but we tried to enrol my son into a nearby full day childcare and it’s all full and we are forever on the wait list. There are vacancies elsewhere but the fee is S$1,000 per month, jolly well out of my budget.

So if a couple is willing to have kids, yes they will go ahead and have kids, regardless of their financial condition because no matter what they will make things work.

But if they are not willing to have kids, no matter whatever benefits are pushed to them, they will not have kids… certainly they won’t say, ‘let’s have kids now since the government is giving us money’.

source Yahoo